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NFL

How To Sound Like An Idiot: Larry Johnson

We’ve pretty much kept these articles limited to people making stupid comments about Mixed Martial Arts, but I think I’m going to start expanding. A bunch of people have said some pretty dumb things over the last couple of weeks. As a matter of fact, we might even do two of these today…

Anyway, how about this Larry Johnson character? For a guy, who has a season average of 2.7 yards per carry, he’s got a pretty big mouth. Here’s what he wrote on Twitter over the last couple of days:

“my father got more creditentials than most of these pro coaches. … google my father!!!!!!!”

“My father played for the coach from “rememeber the titans”. Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefley. Our coach. Nuthn”

Wow. I guess he’s got a right to say to say it after he ran for a whopping 49 yards on Sunday. For those who are under a rock, he’s talking about Chiefs head coach Todd Haley. He also spelled “Briefly” in a truly awesome way.

To make it even worse, he got into a pissing match with some fans on Twitter.

Jared Launius: Interesting comments by Larry Johnson ( @toonlcon ) about “coaches.” Hey LJ, is it Haley’s fault you fall when D-Linemen blow on you?

Larry: “@jaredlaunius Sorry ur a cornball n ur mom birthed u broke. But I’m cakn patna. While u work or school for 5 dollas n hour. Ha!”

Jared Launius: “Apologies. His Twitter alias is @toonicon whatever the hell that means. Probably something about spitting in women’s faces.”

Larry: “@jaredlaunius think bout a clever diss than that wit your fag pic. Christopher street boy. Is what us east coast cats call u.”

“@DrewK30 got nuthn to do wit hiring my father. But u wouldn’t know cuz u don’t play either so keep on the sideline lil gril n cheer.”

“@KD2407 then don’t reply then. Still richer then u. Keep goin. Come play our game ooops forgot u can’t.”

First off, if you are a fan, and you have nothing better to so than hate on athletes on Twitter, then you have a problem. If you have a legit question or want to send support, more power to you. That’s part of what makes Twitter so great. However, if you think that tell an athlete he sucks makes you funny or cool, you sir, are very wrong.

Second, if you are Larry in this situation, why can’t you just delete the message from the idiot that sent it and go on with your life? Yes, we know that you’re rich, but if you start telling people that you are, you end up in this class of moron that is all too common these days.

So, let’s count all the funny, bad things that are happening to Larry now.

1. He’s in hot water with his team. They told him not to show up to practice and has basically been exorcised from the Chiefs. Many reports are suggesting that he will be off the team relatively soon.

2. The Gay and Lesbian activists groups are all over him. They wanted the Chiefs and the NFL to fine him for his use of the word “fag.”

3. Everyone knows that he’s an idiot.

Is all of this worth the fact that you were frustrated with your boss? This just proves that some people shouldn’t be allowed to post your thoughts on the Internet.

PGA

How To Stumble to a 65

If it was anybody else, it would be an absolute disaster. We’re talking serious “not-top ten” material. If it were anyone else, he would be forever emblemized in golf folly lore. It would be forever known as “shooting a (insert name here)”

But for Tiger Woods, a round in which everything seemed to go comically wrong turned into a seven under 65 and sole possession of the lead in the Buick Open.

Where to begin? Well, Tiger drove his tee shot onto adjacent fairways two separate times. He hit a spectator’s beer. He was seemingly bothered by an insect. That sounds like a round that would rival John Daily’s atrocious 88 in the second round this week.

But that’s precisely what makes Tiger Tiger. When Woods is on, he doesn’t make lemonade out of lemons, he makes fine wine out of them. This was seen in the 2008 U.S Open when he shot a ball off the cart path that will live in golf lore forever. He hit some similar shots yesterday.

At 13, he shot a fantastic approach shot that led to a birdie. Doesn’t seem that impressive? What if I told you that the approach shot came from the fairway at four?

So yes, Tigers recent problems off the tee returned today. But he didn’t let it effect him. I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a long “in the zone” period for him. Despite a sometimes frustrating day, he still made eight birdies in the third round and bogeyed only one hole (number 8).

For a while, it looked like Tiger would have to wait for Sunday to make his final move towards sole possession of first. Michael Letzig was holding his own. Through 17, Letzig had bogeyed only one hole and birdied seven. It was a round that was shaping up to be better then Tiger’s.

But then, like many who panic at the site of a tiger making ground their rear view mirror, Letzig panicked. After failing to get his green side bunker shot past the lip, Letzig double bogeyed 18. This moved him one back of Tiger.

Looking for a non-Tiger story line for Sunday? How about Michael Letzig. Will his double bogey on 18 follow him around his front 9 tomorrow like the ghost of a disliked relative? Or will he be able to choke his follies at 18 up to one bad hole and start anew. After all, he was tearing up the course through the first 17.

One thing that works against Letzig is his inexperience playing at the top on Sunday. His best finish this season came at the RBC Canadian Open when he tied for 8th. Prior to that, he had finished in the top 20 only twice this year. He said all the right things in his post-round presser about forgetting what happened at 18 and realizing he’s one shot off, but I’m not so sure it’s that easy.

Especially when the man your chasing is a Tiger Woods who has looked possessed in the last two rounds.

PGA

2009 British Open: What To Watch For…and a Pick

A major week is always a special one. Their is just something in the air. Maybe its just the relevance of it all. When push comes to shove, no one really remembers a golf year for anything but these four weeks. Sure, we golf-geeks occupy our time between majors with things like the John Deere Classic or the Travelers Championship. But even the staunchest of FedEx Cup defenders would have to admit that there’s no comparison between the four majors and every other week on tour. It’s an argument that is not worth having because no one who is serious about professional golf will have any other opinion.

Maybe its because I am a biased American, but my two favorite majors are The Masters and The U.S Open. Not to say that I don’t love the other two (my alarm is already on Scottish time), but I feel I connect more with the first two major events. However, on a world-wide scale, The British Open is perhaps the one with the most cache. Two reasons for this: 1) It’s the oldest major tournament and 2) It’s the only major not played on U.S soil. Even though professional golf is a world wide entity, America has a virtual monopoly on the events. The British certainly has the most world wide feel of any of the four majors.

Here are some things I’ll be watching for over the next four days…

1. The Course- Another reason why the British is different from any other major tournament is that it’s played at a Links course. This years site: Turnberry in Scotland. What is Links Golf you ask? Here’s a good explanation from our friends at 2cybergolf.com

A links course is built along a major body of water
A links course usually has very few trees, if any.
A links course resides on sandy soil that drains easily.
A links course has a natural open layout where the native landscape and the weather (wind/rain) play a huge factor
A links course features ground contours that provide remarkable inherent undulations and slopes in the fairways and greens
A links course rarely has any internal water bodies
A links course’s rough areas feature pure seaside grasses

The thing to watch out for with a links course is the impact of weather. You may chuckle at that based on what went on a few weeks ago at Bethpage, but it’s true. More than any other style of golf, links golf is generally most affected by weather.

Why? Because the weather can change on a dime. One minute, the wind could be calm and manageable. The next, hold on to your hat and keep watch of that ball. This unpredictable nature makes links golf just that-unpredictable.

It also makes it very hard to figure out a way to attack the course in your hotel room the night before. In Tiger Wood’s press conference yesterday, most of the technical course questions he could not answer because shot selection and a general plan of attack depends so much on what the weather is like from hole to hole.

If the weather is calm, the course is manageable and reactively undaunting (for a major course). But the weather being calm is a gigantic if. It’s best to assume it won’t be.

2) Will Tiger Woods end his “major slump”- If you recall a column I wrote a week ago, you’ll get why I put “major slump” in quotes. Theirs a feeling out there that Tiger has had a down year because he hasn’t been in realistic Sunday contention at either of the prior majors this year. Never mind he’s coming off of major reconstructive surgery. Never mind that he’s finished in the top ten in both majors and won three other tournaments. He hasn’t won majors like Tiger wins majors, so his year has obviously been poor.

While I think that this notion is utterly ridiculous, I do think that the idea that Tiger hasn’t been his old self at The Masters or The U.S Open holds major weight. He hasn’t shown that bull by the horns mentality that we are used to seeing from Woods on the stages that we are used to seeing it. Part of the reason for his U.S Open performance was the unbelievable Long Island weather that week. He was one of the unlucky ones who got out on that Thursday morning when everything was disrupted. I think this hurt Tiger for the rest of the tournament. He never got in a rythem.

He won’t have that excuse this year. Weather is part of the deal at the British. Adapting to it is part of the game. It’s part of the exercise that is The Open Championship. I think Tiger has to have a good week, and specifically a good Sunday,to put to bed all the “sub-par Tiger” hogwash that has been going around lately.

By the way…Here’s a quote from Tiger on his year so far-

“It’s been a tremendous success,” Woods said of his 2009 season. “I remember looking at the year and just trying to get back in playing, [thinking] hopefully I can play and hopefully I can play at a high level. And to sit here and say I was going to have three wins halfway through the year — if anyone would have looked at my situation, they would have said, ‘You probably might be reaching a little bit.’”

One other note- Tiger has never played Turnberry.

3. Padrig Harrington going for three straight British Championships- Here’s how bad Padrig Harrington has been this year. A third straight British Open championship would give him half as many British Opens in the last three years as cuts he’s made on tour this year. That’s right. In 13 events this season, Padraig has made only six cuts. Not something you would expect from a twice defending major champion. A lot has to do with swing. Paddy has been working on changing his swing and, by all accounts, it does not seam to be going all too well. It also may be confidence, or lack thereof. Harrington seems very unsure of himself and his game. Swing changes will do that and he does believe that better things are on the horizon, but I don’t know if Harrington will turn into the Paddy of old and leave his swing woes behind.

He is coming off a win last week at the Irish PGA, but I don’t think that translates into British success.

The Pick: Hunter Mahan. A bit of a dark horse, I know, but Mahan may be peaking at the right time. In each of his last three starts, Mahan has finished in the top ten. In his last tournament, The AT&T National, Mahan shot a Sunday 62 and forced Tiger Woods to play a perfect rest of his round to avoid a playoff. His year is coming to a head. Not only has each of his last three finishes been in the top ten, they have each been higher then the preceding one.

The only finish left is first. I think he gets it this week

Uncategorized

Who Says Golfers Can’t Have Fun

YouTube Preview Image

I came across this last night while searching for footage of Tiger Woods interviewing himself after his win on Sunday. Apparently, it’s from February- but I had never seen it. I thought it was pretty clever….

 

 

PGA

Anthony Kim Sets Course Record and Leads AT&T National

Anthony Kim really likes Congressional. No, he really likes it. If recent history is any indication, Congressional is the only course that Kim looks competent at. Of course, that last statement is inherently unfair- but no less the truth.

After struggling through what has been an absolutely disastrous year for Kim, the 24year old returned to the site of his last victory yesterday with a bang. Kim birdied the last eight holes of his first round and set a course record with an 8-under 62.

You would generally think that setting a course record would put you well in the lead. Especially because Thursday is useully a day where players are still working out the kinks of the course, all while trying to put themselves in a position to make the cut on Friday. Not the case this week. Kim holds only a two shot lead over Tiger Woods, D.A Points, and Bryce Molder.

Other notable “top 10ers” include Jim Furyk, who is tied for sixth after at four under 66, and Boo Weekly. Weekly is tied for ninth after a three under 67.

K.J Choi (+7), WCWP fav John Merrick (+6), and last weekends near hero Paul Goydos(+3)are all in danger of missing the cut.

Other Sports

Perry Wows at Travelers

Its been a fun year to watch Kenny Perry play golf. Seven top ten finishes, a victory at the FBR Open, and nearly his first major championship at Augusta in April. But perhaps his most impressive showing came yesterday when he finished up a brilliant week of golf with a win at the Travelers Championship.

Coming into the day one shot back of Paul Goydos, Perry put together a confident seven under, 63 to win by three. The win shot Perry into first place on the FedEx cup leader board and a piece of Travelers Championship history. His winning week number, 258, was the lowest any player has ever shot in the history of the tournament.

Despite the fact that the Sunday sun did not rise with Perry leading, by the time CBS’s TV coverage began at 3pm it wasn’t difficult to see that Perry would be hard to beat. As it turned out, besting the 48 year old proved a nearly impossible task. He sank almost every putt he attempted, long and short, and birdied seven holes. Perry’s round was a perfect example of how to win a tournament like this. Putt well, make par, and let the field crumble around you.

No one really crumbled today. In fact, this is a rare week where I will not give out a choke of the week. A few players played good enough to win. But Perry was unreal. David Toms crept up the leader board and tied for second. He, like Perry, failed to bogey a hole. But he parred to many holes to make that final leap towards first, especially with Perry playing as well as he was. Tom birdied four of the final nine holes, but only one before the turn…not quite enough.

Paul Goydos had to play perfect to hold of Perry. He shot himself in the foot with a bogey on 8 and 10. An eagle of 15 moved him from ninth place into a tie for second, but catching Perry was pie in the sky by that point.

A lot of times in golf, the story is about who lost it, rather than who won. And why not? Generally, it’s easier to criticize then to praise. Theirs only so Manny “atta-boy’s” you can throw out, but seeming an unlimited amount of hypothetical scenarios for the losers. But the story today is no doubt Keny Perry’s day. Was it a Brian Gay-eske crushing? No. But was it a relative certainty that Perry was going to win for most of the day? Yes. He didn’t need a lot of help. He didn’t need anyone to wilt under pressure to win this tournament. Often times, you won’t get a big time collapse in a tournament like The Travelers in Hartford Connecticut. After all, it’s not the Masters.

But it might as well been for Kenny Perry.

Next stop on Tour: AT&T National- The defending champ in this one is Anthony Kim. He returns to defend his crown. Kim’s best finish this year came at the Mercedes-Benz championship when he tied for second. Other big names include U.S Open champion Lucas Glover, Davis Love III, Fred Couples, Jum Furyk, Roco Mediate, Paul Goydos… and the biggest draw in all the land, Tiger Wood.

It’s a Tiger week! Should be fun as we get set for the British 2 weeks from now.

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